I’m not one who particular enjoys admitting defeat… but then again who does?
I truly strive to be a happy go with the flow type of person, and I do believe that overall I’m quite the optimist.
Nonetheless, today happened. You see my ‘FriYAY’ was more like a ‘FriBOO’ and I almost fell off the wagon completely.
If you’ve been keeping up then you know that starting in the new year I’d be posting every M/W/F among other things. Yet here I am, at 11:17 pm writing this post before it’s too late.
Sure, I have plenty of content already written up and saved as drafts ready to be published in a jiffy. But for today, none of them felt right. I couldn’t bring myself to post something that was true to what I’m feeling. That’s just not how I roll.
I’ll try to keep it short, but no promises on that. I can be quite the rambler and tend to have 7 other mini conversations before finishing the original one. So anyway, I’ll get right to it.
To set the tone, it was a very rainy day, in more ways than one. I usually leap for joy at the sight or sound of rain, and it really puts me in an exceptional mood. But not today. It was a different kind of rain.
It was a hard, bright, and relentless rain. It had an anger to it rather than a calming peace. Just when I thought it had finally lightened up, it would come down even harder than before.
I ventured out in the brief time it had slowed to a bearable shower, because you know coffee and all. It was only after grabbing my much needed coffee that I was reminded (obnoxiously and repeatedly) that I needed gas.
Reluctantly to the gas station I go. I’m swiping my card but it’s just not working. Keeps saying to reenter it or to go inside. Meanwhile my 7 month old is screaming in the car. So not happening. So I keep trying and it finally takes my card, yay!
HA, wrong. I picked the gas I needed but it wouldn’t take. No matter how hard I pressed it, it wouldn’t work. By this time I’ve already been at the pump much longer than I should, my child is still screaming, nothing is working, I feel eyes watching, and I’m trying not to lose it.
So I hang up the pump and get in my car and just go. No gas. No more holding back. The tears were flowing and they were flowing fast.
I’ve been suppressing a lot of emotions lately and I’m a very emotional person so you can see how that’s a major problem.
A lot of life changes are happening and I know that it is what is but I also know it’s going to be difficult. This year is going to be full of ups and downs and things I’ve never been through, but that’s okay.
Life happens. We have those days. Acknowledge it, accept it, and move on. Everything happens for a reason and if it doesn’t kill ya it’ll make ya stronger. 💜
Well it’s 11:57 and I’m going to press publish! I know this isn’t the usual and I’m sorry you guys but regardless I want to make sure I keep up and get stuff out to you. Much love as always.