To my husband’s single friends,
Hey there. It’s just me, your “bros” wife. Some of you know me, some of you do not. Some of you have joined us for dinner. Some of you have had one too many and stayed over, so I took care of you under our roof as if you were my own friend.
But some of you don’t know me, which I guess makes it easier for you to continue on as if my husband isn’t actually married. Your judgement and way of thinking is clouded by what you deem is your right as a man to have ‘bro time’ and you toss around the phrase ‘guys will be guys’, and dismiss my objection to certain activities because I’m “just a jealous girl”.
I get it, who the heck am I, anyway? You’ve known him longer, which bares more weight than a silly little title, right?
You see, here’s the issue. Marriage is sacred, and to be respected. Not only by those in it, but also those around it. You may think what you’re sending and encouraging him to watch is just a ‘man thing’ and it’s not a big deal. Well, it is.
And no, it doesn’t make me ‘insecure’ or ‘jealous’, it makes me smart and protective of my marriage. My values and views towards marriage stem from my faith and viewing marriage from a biblical standpoint. Which is very contrary to today’s society’s views of marriage, and just relationships in general.
Now of course, it is absolutely his job as a husband to tell you he doesn’t want to see those things, but the point is he shouldn’t have to tell you. You, being a friend, should respect the boundaries that come a long with marriage.
Marriage is a beautiful, difficult, messy, happy, ever evolving relationship. There are many triumphs, and there are many trials. It teaches you a lot, whether you want to learn or not.
On another note, I want you to know I sympathize with you. I know it can be hard when your friends are married and starting families of their own, and you are still stuck in your high school ways. That’s what your other single friends are for. Relate to them, send the erm, ya know, stuff to them, not your married friends. It’s disrespectful to us as wives, and it’s disrespectful to marriage as a whole.
Relationships are hard work. The more unnecessary hardships you can avoid, the better. There’s nothing wrong with taking precautionary steps, and it’s not because women are crazy. We are smart, love with all our might, and protect what is ours.
Please to all the single friends out there, understand it’s not you, it’s just how marriage works.
** this was written as a general statement for women as whole. I wrote from the perspective of friends and strangers alike, who have dealt with this frustration due to the overall way relationships are handled in this age**